Great Scot
by Lady Starhawk
Summary: The team takes a job at a Renaissance festival...in costume.


Title: Great Scott

Author: Lady Starhawk

Warnings: Nope (other than more plotless crack)

Rating: G

Summary: The team takes a job at a Renaissance festival….in costume.

Note: HUGE thanks to my beta medie shanachie. Any remaining mistakes are mine :).

Eliot wasn't happy.

Now, his team would say that he was never happy, but that just wasn't true. Lots of things made him happy; it was just that those things weren't entirely "normal". But he was just fine with that.

For reasons he couldn't comprehend, Nate and Sophie had taken a job that involved a Renaissance Festival. That, in and of itself, wouldn't have been a big deal, but (of course) Sophie got all excited about them all dressing up in costume to blend in with the workers.

Eliot happened to have the right clothes for the job, but he wasn't sure what the team's reaction would be. Grabbing the big brown duffel from the back of his closet, and the long, thin box from under the bed, he headed out to his truck.

This was going to suck.

Parker knew she looked good. She had collected pieces from consignment and costume shops all over the city. She was dressed almost exactly like one of the characters from those pirate movies with the guy in the dreadlocks that Hardison was obsessed with for a while. She even had a sword in a sheath on her hip. She was excited to show it to Eliot. He might even teach her how to use it.

She was waiting in the place that they had agreed to meet. She thought she would be bored waiting, with Nate's 'no stealing' rule, but she was enjoying watching the people. She saw everything from little girls dressed like Disney princesses to one guy dressed in a Star Trek uniform. She just shrugged; she was dressed as a _boy_ pirate who was she to judge.

She heard Sophie before she saw her. Sophie was playing with people; greeting everyone that crossed her path. Parker turned around to see Sophie on a rise in the street. She was dressed in an outlandish getup. Huge hoopskirt, tight corset, boobs that Parker didn't even know Sophie possessed, spilling over the top. And then Parker saw Nate. He had Sophie's arm, but it was obvious he wasn't having fun, not like her.

Nate was dressed more simply, but probably less comfortably. He had on a nice shirt and a leather doublet over the top. However it was his lack of pants that made Parker smirk. Nate was wearing tights. Parker had never thought about Nate's legs before; usually they were hidden under pants. But she had to fight to hold in a laugh at the skinny chicken legs Nate was sporting.

Parker pulled her phone out of her pocket and snapped a picture of the couple as they stopped to play with a family in the street. She was sliding it back into her pocket when she heard the sound of bells.

The belly dancers had come by a little bit ago so she didn't think it was them again and this was a different kind of sound. She turned and burst into a fit of laughter. Coming up another path was Hardison. He was dressed in all the colors of the rainbow, with bells on his hat and his shoes, which curled up from his toes to above his feet. She subtly pulled the camera back out of her pocket and snapped a couple of pictures of him.

"How are you ever going to sneak up on someone in that?" Parker blurted out.

Sophie and Nate arrived at the meeting spot a few seconds after Hardison. "Now Parker," Sophie was also trying not to laugh, "Hardison did a very nice job on his jester costume."

"Thanks, Soph." The hacker beamed at the praise.

"Of course." Sophie bit her lip and turned back around towards Nate. "You look very festive."

Parker slipped the phone back into her pocket. She turned to Hardison and tried to say something nice, "I didn't know you were bow-legged."

Hardison blushed a bit, but was saved from having to reply by Sophie's sharp intake of breath.

Parker turned to where the grifter was looking and saw what had caught her attention. Eliot.

"Naw man, is that Eliot in a _skirt_?" Hardison said shaking his head.

"It's a _kilt_ Hardison, a great kilt, actually. Scottish Highlanders wore them. It's correct to the time period." Sophie said sounding a little stunned. "And he's wearing it like he's worn one before."

At first glance Parker wanted to laugh at the fact that he was wearing a _skirt_, but he owned it. He had a huge sword on his back that was almost as tall as he was. He wore a white shirt with some embellishments on it and his hair was flying loose and free. The skirt, _kilt_ Parker corrected herself, was green and blue and complemented the hitter's eyes and skin tone perfectly. He was wearing a pouch that was hanging from silver chains on the front of the kilt. He looked like he had walked right out of a Highland painting.

Even with the scowl planted firmly on his face and the growls he gave in response to people saying good morning, everybody was turning to look at him as he passed. He walked up to the group and glared at Nate. "I hope you're happy."

Nate pointed to his own costume. "Does it look like I am happy?"

Eliot smirked at that. He then turned his attention to the ladies, who were still eyeing him. "WHAT?" he asked in that annoyed way he had.

"Nothing," Parker said as she took her hands from her pockets.

Eliot turned to Sophie and Nate and they started discussing the plans for the con that afternoon. Hardison would interject every once in a while, but Parker had a different mission right now.

She was dying to know what he was wearing under the kilt. It didn't look like he had on shorts and she didn't dare ask him because he was deep into the conversation they were having. She slowly moved into Eliot's personal space.

She carefully knelt down, pretending to fix her boot to give her a better starting point. She moved in to subtly peek under the hem when her wrist was suddenly in the iron grip of the hitter. She didn't even know how he saw her move. He carefully bent down so he was even with her and looked her in the eye.

He didn't seem angry in fact there was a hint of a twinkle there. "Nothing under my kilt, but my boots, Parker." He winked at her. "Just like it should be." She nodded so he moved a step away from her and let her go.

The con details were soon figured out and even Parker managed to pay attention long enough to know her role now that her curiosity was abated. Just as they were about to break up Sophie smiled at the group. "I am very proud of all of you for taking this seriously," she looked at Hardison, who had his phone out and was working on something, "for the most part." She then turned to the hitter who was now in possession of Parker's sword after she had drawn it and almost ended up removing some of Hardison's bells in the process.

"Eliot, I respect your costuming skills, and your bustle is perfect, but you do realize that your boots aren't period?" Sophie shook her head as she looked over the hitter's authentic Highland garb, paired with the black motorcycle boots that she knew had steel toes.

He finished tying Parker's sword into the sheath so she couldn't remove it again before turning, shrugging, and giving the grifter a once-over. "Yeah, I admit there's one thing wrong with my garb, sweetheart, but there's four things wrong with yours and six with Nate's." Sophie gasped at his words and Nate tried to hide a smile. "And I am not even going to discuss Hardison's 'costume'." Eliot even did the air quotes as he spoke. "Parker, however, did a very good job."

Sophie stepped forward; face red and anger rising to the surface, as she retorted, "I'll have you know this costume was designed by the Royal Shakespeare Company of London England. It's a perfect replica of a dress worn by Queen Elizabeth the First."

Eliot shrugged. "I don't care who designed it, there's four things wrong with it."

Sophie sputtered. Nate chuckled, never having seen Sophie at a loss for words before. Eliot turned and offered Parker his arm. "My lady?" She had a huge grin on her face and took the hitter's arm in hers.

Once they had moved away, Nate turned to her and said softly, "I think you underestimated him again."

"It would seem so. I'm going to have to be more careful about that in the future." Sophie nodded and turned to Hardison.

"It's not wise to upset the wookie," Hardison said as he shook his head, making the bells on his hat tinkle.

Parker heard them as they left, but chose to ignore them. They always underestimated Eliot. Everybody did. But they underestimated her too. She turned to Eliot as they were turning a corner, "Would you teach me how to use your sword?"

Eliot started to answer her, but a worker at a nearby shop grinned and yelled, "I'll teach you how to use my _sword_."

Parker looked at him slightly confused, "You don't even have a sword." She turned back to him, "Eliot, what does he mean?"

Eliot's clear laughter drifted across the grounds. "There's definitely something wrong with you."


End file.
